July 2008 - My family wind chime

My Family wind chime.

For those of you who read last month’s article, you are familiar with the wind chime analogy I spoke about. The article spoke that we are connected to the base support directly, with nothing between you and your God Source, not even your parents. We are not designed like a ladder with people ahead of us, we are all equal in our connections and we all sing to our own tunes (combined and individually chimed).

My great-grandmother had 12 children, 10 of which survived into adulthood. Out of the 10 surviving adults, my grandmother was the first to transition over. I feel her to be like a “gatekeeper” on that side of the fence. And for reasons I can’t explain, I feel I’m posted opposite her to some degree as a gatekeeper in my own physical way on this side. With those 10 children surviving into adulthood, I’m sure you can image how the family has grown; grandchildren, great-grandchildren and great-great grandchildren now. This past weekend I flew home unexpectedly to support family as another one of my great-aunts, my grandmother’s sister, passed away. There are six remaining now of the original 10 adult children.

I don’t know how familiar some of you are with the Hispanic community or the deep Roman Catholic way of being raised, but the culture is quite rich and magical. For funerals and weddings, those persons who can make the event appear and reconnect with family in ways that are exciting and incredibly gratifying. In my family, a funeral usually consists of the viewing and the Rosary the evening before the Mass, held frequently at an incredible historic Cathedral in Arizona accompanied by live Mariachi music, and then the graveside service at the cemetery. It’s a two day event and always ends with a family gathering with lots of food, abundant stories and joyous laughter.

This time at the services at the Cathedral, under the splash of color from the stained glass windows, my cousin stood at the pulpit and delivered a loving speech. He spoke about his mom, my great-aunt, as one who prayed everyday for everyone, but seldom wanted to “bother them” to find out in person or over the phone how they were doing. He mentioned that while she thought of everyone, she was caught up in her own insecurities. My cousin then said to us, “Go bother someone today. Let them know you are thinking about them.” He had everyone in the church turn to each other and say a kind word or give a hug. It was very moving and loving and brought forth a great sense of Oneness.

It is in these moments where all of the different “pipes” (characters in our family) of the family “wind chime” suddenly and beautifully come together and create a tune of such depth and complexity and yet without a doubt it sings out as a simple sound of Love. The different “chimes” in my family vary greatly. I have a rocket scientist, bikers, welders, law enforcement, architects, electricians, national security personnel, nurses, teachers and more teachers, mailmen, professional singers and actors, engineers, tattoo artists, salesmen, mathematicians, forklift drivers, athletes, professors, hairdressers – you name it, with as big as my family is, I’m sure I’ve got a cousin in there somewhere who does it.

But here’s the really neat part. When my family gathers, it’s not about what we “do,” we simply gather as we “ARE”. It’s always shocking to find out who does for a living because that’s not how we see each other, it’s not about the job. It’s simply that they are family. The jobs we do only describe part of who we are expressing – and hopefully we are expressing something we really like to do! The job description can be impressive, but it never changes the gathering – it just is a curious question that gets answered. Ultimately nobody cares about the “job”, we love them regardless. The best part is when we gather, we get to be who we are, which is always changing, always growing, always expanding, even in times of loss.

I’ve had many clients recently who have had to be reminded that once a person sets upon a journey, they are never again at “square one.” As soon as you begin the journey, steps two and three have been taken. The journey is always forward, never stagnate, even if it appears to be. If another day has passed, then steps into that day have been taken – again, forward motion moves a person away from square one. If you are reading this, you have taken many steps forward in your day to get here.

Keep it moving forward; go “bother” someone, as my cousin mentioned. Move forward in your own personal journey, tell yourself something kind, doing something nice for yourself. Then extend that to someone else. Chime your bell and help someone else ring theirs. Go past what people “do” and find out who they “are.” And vice versa, let others find out who YOU are, not just what you do. And if someone bothers you- maybe it’s because they care enough to give you the personal attention you deserve. Or maybe they need some attention themselves.

You can do this, consider yourself “bothered” by me – a saying just for you, that’s right you, letting you know that you ARE moving forward and I need you to keep growing just as you need me to do the same. Ring your bell, baby!

~Bright Star